100% true. Customers are soooo stupid
“If a clock could count down to the moment you meet your soul mate, would you want to know?”
lol yes, so then i can shave.
Has anyone written a book about this yet? I think it’d be interesting!!!!!!
One minute, 37 seconds.
My legs are shaking. Holy cow, there is no way I can do this. None.
One minute, 29 secods.
I glance around at the faces surrounding the room. Of course my Meeting would take place in the gross, overcrowded cafeteria.
One minute, six seconds.
Somewhere within these four walls, someone has the exact same countdown on their wrist. They’re going through the exact same pressure as me.
Mom said I should be excited, not nervous. Yet I still find myself wiping my sweaty palms on my dress. I can’t believe she talked me into wearing a dress. I mean, shouldn’t my Soul Mate meet me as I normally am? All plain jeans, blah shirts, and wild brown curls?
Something deep within me tells me to stand up. I do, drawing the attention of my tablemates. They all know too. They smile encouragingly up at me. I chew my lip nervously.
That same feeling pulls me towards the center of the room. My stomach drops away from me as I take a step in that direction.
I continue in that direction. With each step the tempo of my heart picks up.
17. More rapid.
16. It’s racing.
Oh my god this is it. The moment my life changes forever.
My eyes search frantically around the cafeteria, searching for someone who looks as nervous as me. For someone who’s heading towards their future with no sense of direction like me.
The feeling directs me slightly to the left. I turn to accomodate.
5. My heart has given up entirely.
4. I stop walking.
3. Just waiting left.
2. Everything is about to change.
1. Deep breath.
0000 d 00 h 00 m 00 s
Someone bumps my shoulder. I twirl around and my gray eyes meet blue, blue ones.
“Hello there, love. It appears as though we’re Soul Mates then, eh?”
As my words fail me, the only thing I can think is “I’m so glad I shaved this morning.”
^^^ THIS IS AMAZING
i think youre gonna write the book i nominate you you have no choice go get writing now
(I’d like to play what would happen in the ultimate plot twist)
“Thats weird…” I checked my wrist, the clock had just hit the 30 second mark but I looked around and there was no one there. I was a worrisome guy overall but I felt justified, I mean today was the day I was meeting my soul mate. Not that I expected my dream girl to be in the storage closet at work but still I was nervous.
Walking out with a box the boss had requested I walked back to my cash register setting it on the shelf. My wrist hit the 20 second mark
Where was she? I could not help but get worried that an error would pop up or that she was gone and my timer would run out with no response. I panicked, I’d change my own fate if I had to. Running out of time I hurried through the back door. There was a park outside and maybe I was supposed to be there to find my soul mate.
A faint ding of the doorbell hit my ear. Wait was that it?? She was here! I turned around running back to the counter. “Don’t worry I’m just in the back!”
I ran out looking at my wrist as it hit zero. Out of breath “Hi I’m Matt!” Sticking out my hand for a handshake it was met by a firm hand. Meeting my soulmate’s eyes for the first time they spoke.
“I’m Steven.” The man gave a smile “It’s nice to meet you.”
OH MY GOD
I watch my friend carefully. Her excitement is glowing all over her pretty face. Exactly 2 minutes left, she tells me. We’re waiting at the bus stop and the bus is coming in two minutes. I think she hoped she’d meet them on a beach at sunset or something.
”I mean that’s ok - these things can’t always be romantic I mean my mum met dad when he was working at the book store and it’s not like you can plan it to be romantic I just hoped, I mean everyone hopes don’t they-” she breaks off, looking at me awkwardly. “Sorry. It’s just a big day for me you know.” Yes I do know. You’ve been going on about it for the past year. I smile at her.
”Don’t worry. You nervous? You’ll be ok, you always are,” I grin, determined not to ruin this for her. It’s selfish of me to be moody. This is her future being determined. Right here. In now, precisely 1 minute 30 seconds.
She smiles at me, but it isn’t quite reaching her eyes. She’s restless and keeps tapping her foot. Her eyes are wide with.. fear? Excitement? Nerves? Probably all of them and a thousand more things I can’t imagine. She keeps checking her wrist. So do I. The bus comes around the corner. 1 minute 10 seconds.
”Hey. I’ll leave you alone now ok? The bus is here. I’ll sit a couple of seats away, and be there if you need me,” I say, squeezing her arm reassuringly. “Good luck.” I hope it sounded sincere.
The bus pulls up and I climb on first, taking a quick glance at her while I give the driver my ticket. She’s shaking and looks a little green. I want to give her a hug but know I shouldn’t interrupt now. I look at the passengers and it’s full of pensioners. My heart starts beating frantically. What? I can’t see anyone else at the bus stop. But she’s only 18, she can’t end up with a 80 year old.
I turn around and look at her - she’s breathing hard. The bus driver asks if she’s ok but she ignores him. Her eyebrows are creased and her face is flushed. Oh. Oh no. Stay calm. Someone is probably late. I give her a thumbs up and try to smile reassuringly. I think it’s more of a grimace.
I take a seat near the back. Look at my watch. 25 seconds. She sits down a few seats away.
Suddenly a dark shape runs past my window and a boy jumps on the bus. He has that same frantic look in his eyes. I breathe out with relief.
”Yeah get on, we’re running late,” the driver says, taking his ticket. The boy looks around, carefully stepping towards the seats. He’s tall and handsome, holding a sketchbook. I smile slightly; my friend hates art.
He spots her.
His eyes widen as he walks closer, as if being pulled by an invisible rope.
My friend stands up too, that same rope tying her to him.
1 second -
”I was worried the bus would leave. No way could I miss meeting my soul mate!” he jokes, though he looks just as nervous as she. They smile at each other as they both sit down together. I can’t hear what they’re talking about.
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Suddenly I’m crying. Hot tears dropping down my cheeks.
I look at my wrist, scratching at it. Trying to get rid of it.
The numbers have never changed.
They’ve always been at 0.
I was born with the time (6570d 13h 32m 56s) meaning that at 1:32pm of on my 18th birthday I am destined to find my one true love. Of course that day is today. It’s been on my wrist my entire life, but the only people how have actually seemed to care are my parents, and the rest of my family, who by the way are all in the business of making sure that peoples “times” are pitch perfect. No seriously, My entire family, from my great aunt Clara to my four year old cousin, work for Match Makers Inc. which is owned by my mother and father. MMI is basically a large wedding planning corporation, we get hired to set up a story book scenario for when people’s clocks run out. The way my family see’s it every one knows when they’re going to meet their soul mate. They spend their entire lives thinking about it, what it’s going to be like, and who they’re going to be paired up with. Now we can’t control the who, but we can control the how. You tell us how you’ve been imagining it all these years, and we’ll make it a reality. My family pores their hearts and souls into making everything perfect especially when it comes to other family members. From the moment someone is born into the family everyone gathers around and begins planning what their special day is going to be like. They even train the child so that they know exactly what they’re supposed to do.
No of course every family has a head, someone who makes all of the decisions. Obviously being the owner of MMI makes my father that head, meaning that I (an only child) get even more attention than the rest of the children. It was nice, for a while. Every year I would get a boat load of presents for my birth day christmas and strangely enough labor day. If I was lonely my parents would get someone to entertain me. Well eventually after a childhood anyone would dream for I started to get bored of all the attention. I stopped attending a few family functions, I would go off on my own every once in a while to do something, ANYTHING that would keep me from getting bored. I did things such as martial arts, equestrian riding, and I even did some writing, but then things got serious once my clock ran down to (0365d, 00h, 00m, and 00s). It was that point that I was forced to be the center of the family. Everyone pouring over me once again, making sure that my day was just as my parents had planned it.
Yeah… well it was decided that, because my mom was an actor before she married into the family, I was going to be up on the stage performing romantic play all by myself. Yes, I will be doing a play all alone, that way I am still at the center of attention, and no one else will be able to get between me and whoever it is that I’m destined to be with. The lights are pre set, the costumes were already laid out and even the curtains automated so that when they’ll open and close by themselves. My family spent an entire month preparing for this. Dress rehearsal after dress rehearsal. They put up posters all over the city, and even bought their way onto a radio talk show to advertise for the play. My parents wanted to make sure EVERYONE would be in the audience, they even managed to coerce the mayor into showing up. It was an original play written by one of the family members, but there isn’t much plot, the entire play is just me spouting out a combination of one liners and romantic speeches saving the best for when my clock hits zero.
Lets see that will be in about 5 minutes and 38 seconds? I should probably still be up on the stage ready to perform, but I couldn’t give a damn about this soul mate business it’s all just so boring. I’m not interested in meeting some boring fan of my parents pathetic excuse for a play. It just doesn’t apply to me… I don’t really care who I’m with, I just wanted to enjoy myself by myself so while performing on stage I came up with a brilliant prank to pull. The last scene is supposed to be opening up right now. Everyone will be at the edge of their seats after listing to an hour of romantic bull shit just waiting to see what the lucky girl looks like. Waiting to see who the woman I’ll be spending the rest of my life with. The automated curtains pull back and the audience begins cheering and applauding. But the crowd dies down once they stair down at the empty stage. While the curtains were closed before the last scene started I quickly left from behind the stage, and ran out the back door into the ally way. I thought about going back in there to see everyone’s reaction, but if they found me before my time was up they might put me back up there again which would kill the prank. I could hear the crowd cheering and started laughing once the cheering died down. I couldn’t contain myself when I heard the frantic shuffling that came from inside. I continued laughing for about five minutes, my prank was a complete success no one knew where I was, and no one expected it either. My parents try and call my phone to reach me, but I simply let it buzz and buzz, trying to to explode from laughter.
My laughing came to an stop when I hear some commotion out on the street. I run out to see what’s happening, and then I see her, I look up at a young girl standing on the roof of the building across the street poised to jump. Everyone is screaming for her not to jump. at first I was thinking along with them, but I soon lost interest. I look back at my wrist, and everything is at zero. Great… does that mean that mrs suicidal is my soul mate? I look back up and as I do she thrusts herself from the edge of the building. As she falls she manages to hit a flag pole, and crash threw one of the shop awnings. The crowd that gathered on the street quickly rushes to her aid. I try and make my way through, I want to check her wrist to see is she is at zero as well.
She still has 12 hours and 27 minutes left on her wrist… Well I guess she isn’t the one after all, but then who is? I look around, and no one seems to be clicking, or standing out. Maybe I can be alone… At first this idea mad me kinda happy, but the I felt horribly depressed. I was only exaggerating when I said I wanted to enjoy myself with myself.
I’m shocked back to reality when I here the frantic crying of someone behind me asking is the woman was okay. I reach just be her watch, and check for a pulse. After finding out that she still has one, I turn to one of the by standers staring at the injured woman in shock.
"Don’t just stand there call the police," I tell him.
After that I straighten her body, checking for any major injuries, but luckily I don’t find any other than broken ribs, large bruises and broken extremities. After that I wait for the paramedics to arrive. Once they do I hitch a ride with them to the hospital, I don’t know why, but I’m still slightly interested in this woman. I watch as her watch slowly ticks toward zero. She’s now down to 10 hours and 15 minutes. On the way to the hospital I check my phone to see how many messages were left… 29… I have 18 missed calls, and 11 messages from my family trying to figure out where I am.
I call my mother, and tell her what happened, and after I get an ear full for missing my big finally, I apologize, and hang up.
We arrive at the Hospital, and she is whisked to the ER, and I’m left in the waiting room. They tell me I can go see her now, but she is still unconscious. I check her wrist once again and we’re now down to 3 hours and 16 minutes.
I just wasted 9 hours and 11 minutes try to help some random suicidal woman that I’ve never meet before. It’s 10:00 at night, and I’m tiered, but I could’ve gone home anytime I wanted, I wasn’t required to stay and wait for her to get out of surgery. What was keeping me there? Why was I so interested in this random woman? Maybe she was the one for me, but then why is her clock still going?
I decided to wait and see who her soul mate was? I’m putting 40 dollars on the nurse, or doctor who’s checking on her when she wakes up.
So I sit down in the chair, pick up a magazine and I wait. The minutes turn into hours, after what seems to be a millennium she wakes up moaning about her head, and where she was. I look around, and no one else is in the room, I keep expecting someone to bust down the door screaming about how he’s been searching all over for her, but that doesn’t happen.
I stand up and check her wrist once again. We’re now down to four seconds.
She moans and looks over to me
"Who the hell are you?" she asks.
I look back down and read her wrist for the last time. (0000d 00h 00m 00s) Then I move her arm so that she can read her watch.
"It looks like I’m the guy who got stuck with you," I answer.
At least she wasn’t some boring fan who watched my parents pathetic idea of a romantic one man play.
Can someone collect these into a series of one shots and put them on FFNET? (Giving credit to each writer, of course)
I haven’t written anything in AGES so please be gentle with me:
3 minutes left.
He had been checking the clock on his left wrist hundreds of times during the last couple of weeks. He knew that it was starting to become a nervous habit but he simply couldn’t help it. Every single time he forced himself not to look he felt panic creep upon his body and cold sweat running up his spine. It was tedious. His arm twitched and he automatically checked the timer again.
2 minutes 30 seconds left.
He simply couldn’t wait anymore. And who could blame him, really? He’d waited 28 years for the moment that was about to come. Well, 28 years, 137 days, 55 minutes and 6 seconds to be precise. He did his math - more than once actually. Bloody 28 years! He didn’t know what made him deserve to wait that long for his supposedly better half. Maybe it was Karma. Well, he’d sure waited long enough.
It had been such a nuisance to watch all his friends and even his little sister Judith (who was almost ten years his junior) getting together with their oh-so-perfect partners. Not one of them had been older than 19 when their time was up. He couldn’t bare their lingering looks, the not-so-subtle snogs in the cabinet and the absolutely sickening behaviour of those in love. But the worst of all were their smug comments that he’d know what it was like as soon as he found “his girl”. Well, he’d sure be wiser in about two minutes.
He tried to picture what she’d look like. Would she be tall or short? Thick or thin? Blonde or brunette? Young or old? The answer was lost to him. He never had a certain type of woman that he’d preferred the most. He looked around the little café for any sign of somebody standing out to him. But there was no woman around that caught his attention or looked in the least as agitated and nervous as he felt in this moment. There was a handsome read-head standing at the counter who ordered a frappuccino but she looked more stressed out than nervous.
Maybe she wouldn’t come. That was his worst kind of nightmare. Not meeting her. Being alone, all on his own forever. Even though sometimes he thought that it might be for the best. He managed to be alone for so long that occasionally he (almost) convinced himself that he was happy with the way things were. And then his Auntie Tilda would make a harsh remark about him NOT being married and having children and that it was about time that he’d meet his soulmate otherwise he’d be getting too old, ugly and fat and that the poor girl who would be so unfortunate to get stuck with him would regret the day she set eyes on him. Needless to say that almost every encounter with Auntie Tilda ended with him snapping at her, saying things he immediately regretted, rushing out of the room, followed by eating old pizza and too much of that delicious vanilla flavoured ice-cream he hid in the freezer for emergencies. God, was he happy that she’d finally have to shut up after this day. Or maybe not. Auntie Tilda wouldn’t be able to shut her big fat mouth even if he’d glued her thin, pertly lips together.
The anticipation was slowly driving him insane. He checked the watch again.
1 minute left.
Finally there would be hugs and kisses, cuddling and holding hands. He deserve it. And shagging. Hopefully lots and lots of wild, untamed, shameless shagging. He shook his head, silently laughing to himself. He knew that it was indecent that his mind was in the gutter less than one minute before the most important moment of his life. Even though it was kind of typical that he thought about sex before meeting the person he was supposed to spend his whole life with. It was kind of hard to get the long suppressed nasty thoughts out of your system when you were forced to stay a virgin for almost three decades! Decency be fucked! It wasn’t even like he did not try to get release. When he was 23 he had enough of it all and went into a bar to hook up with a girl but the task seemed to be more of a challenge than he first had anticipated. Apparently nobody went into a bar to get laid these days. All those girls with a soulmate would just shush him away and all the girls without one were eager to save themselves for their better half. Decency be damned indeed!
He checked his watch again.
Only 10 seconds left.
Where the hell was she?
He turned around and looked into the bluest of eyes he’d ever seen on a surprisingly not-so-feminine face.
"Hi, I’m John."
He heard the traitorous beeping of his watch telling him that the long wait was finally over. The alarm coming in perfect synchronisation from his and John’s watch alike.
Well, Auntie Tilda would surely be in for a BIG surprise tonight.
so i had seen this post before and i just now found out there was a movie with this same idea
[SCREAMS] THE WINTER SOLIDER
[PUNCHES YOUR WINDOW IN] THE WINTER SOLIDER
[JUMPS OUT OF A PLANE] THE WINTER SOLDIER
[RIPS OFF SHIRT] THE WINTER SOLDIER
[whispers] the winter soldier
[RIPS OFF YOUR STEERING WHEEL] THE WINTER SOLDIER
[RIPS OFF LEFT ARM] THE WINTER SOLDIER
MULTIPLE people I am following are asking what these are, why we call them holy when only one has a hole. If they are made by the same company, and what is with us praising these.
I weep for you people, from other countries. WEEP.
Aussies may have Tim Tams.
EU may have Kinder and All sorts of fantastic biscuits.
USA? Has GIRL SCOUT COOKIES.
Not only are these things SINFULLY good, they are only sold for a bit over 1 month of the year, depending on region, that month of the year changes.
That middle one is Chocolate, Caramel Coconut. The left one is Peanut Butter, chocolate and sex on a stick aka crumbly cookie/biscuit.
You can eat em straight from the box, but pros? Pros eat these bad boys frozen.
And thin mints, man. that right one? THIN MINTS. You may have heard of these. Chocolate biscuit infused with mint essence coated in dark chocolate.
Those thin mints.
The Thin Mints for which every grown ass American on a Medical Diet cries for when they see a girlscout.
The Thin Mints with 1000 copycats, and not a one of them successful.
Girl Scouts, regularly boycotted by Fundies and Anti-choice nutters, not only taste amazing, but you get the joy of giving money to a good cause, while subtly flipping the bird at overly wound up fundie groups.
It’s like donating to Planned Parenthood and getting a box of double dark chocolate with fudge filling tim-tams especially made for them.
The reason we eat them frozen is that we buy as many boxes of thin mints as we possibly can during that short sale period, and then store them for the dark months, like proud American squirrels.
PROUD AMERICAN SQUIRRELS.
AMERICAN SQUIRRELS REPRESENT
This is the greatest explanation of Girl Scout cookies I’ve ever seen
As a lifelong Girl Scout I fully approve of this post.
evan peters is an actual person that drives a car and goes to mcdonalds
but still he looks like he’s ready to kill someone
I love him